Finding freedom through FDS

When everyone else sees home as a safe haven, 41-year-old Lerma Armia feels otherwise.

Lerma, a resident of Brgy Lalaguna in Lopez town, Quezon Province, admits to being submissive to her husband. Whenever he’s home, she becomes silent. She follows what he has to say and makes sure she does not disappoint him.

Outside, she describes the feeling being free like a bird. She can interact with other people and share a laugh or two with them. However, times like this seldom happens.

“Madalas, dito lang po ako sa bahay namin. Hindi po ako uma-attend ng mga meeting sa baranggay, kahit birthdayan hindi rin,” she says.

With tears, Lerma shares that finally, she can truly say she is free today.

‘We are equal’

Lerma had not thought it possible, but it happened. Her relationship with her husband little by little improved.

“Doon sa FDS ko natutunan na pantay-pantay pala ang mga lalaki at babae. Hindi naman pala dapat matakot ako sa asawa ko. Dapat pala nag-uusap kami para maging maayos ang aming relasyon,” she shares.

The FDS or Family Development Session is a component of the Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program. It is a monthly session that teaches parent-beneficiaries on various family-enhancement topics such as husband and wife relationship, budget management and rights of children.

Lerma’s family is a beneficiary of the Pantawid Pamilya program, which provides conditional cash grants to her family amounting to Php1,100 every month. The cash grants support her two children’s need on health and education.

She admits that the cash grants have greatly helped their family, especially in encouraging her children to go to school. However, there is more to the program that she is very much thankful for.

“Nagpapasalamat talaga ako sa Pantawid dahil sa mga natutunan ko rito. Dahil sa FDS, naging masaya ang buhay ko, naging malaya ang pakiramdam ko,” she says with a tear.

Lerma admits that it was hard at first to share what she learned from FDS to her husband, given the situation they were in.

“Yung tipo po ng pagpapaliwanag ko, idinadaan ko na lang sa kwento. Sinasabi ko sa kanya na ang saya nung FDS namin, tapos kinukwento ko sa kanya kung ano yung mga natutunan ko. Kahit madalas isagot nya sa akin na kalokohan lang lahat yun, hindi pa rin ako tumigil,” she says.

It was unexpected for Lerma to finally see her husband respond positively to her stories. From telling him what and what not to do in a husband and wife relationship, Lerma saw their relationship becoming stronger and their family happier.

The benefits of being free

Her good relationship with her husband has made Lerma a better woman. She regained her self-confidence and established a network of friends.

Before, she shares that she just kept everything to herself, especially her problems at home.

“Sa Pantawid, nakakapag-share ako ng mga nararamdaman at karanasan ko sa FDS. Naging mas magaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag may napagsasabihan ako. Nagkaroon ako ng mga kaibigan,” she states.

Last 2013 Barangay Elections, Lerma ran as a barangay councilor and won.  This only proves the change in her personality.

“Pakikisama lang po talaga sa mga tao ang naging puhunan ko sa pagtakbo ko,” she says.

Today, Lerma still gets emotional when she remembers how sweet the taste of freedom is. Like a child, she shares that the happiness she feels today is greater than anything that money could buy. She now enjoys a safe haven, only bigger. She feels secure now both inside and outside the four corners of her home.***